You had your first bad day in 7 weeks today. I saw it coming with the rising of the sun this morning at 4:30am when I awoke to both you and Saint. You screamed MAMA and he did too, only his sounded more like a faint dolphin noise. Daddy got up with you, I got up with Saint and no one got any more sleep. I should have made it a TV day but we ventured out with new friends and you melted like cheese my girl. I apologized, took you for nuggets, and gathered my thoughts during your nap time. You and me we have one thing in common forever and always, we can not, do not, have not EVER recovered easily from a bad day. If it starts bad the whole day is ruined. It may be the last 90 degree day of the year but despite my constant cheer leading and phrasing “let’s take back the day, let’s find the happy” neither one of us can do that. It’s a trait I wish I could have kept to myself but I’ve shared it with you and here we are. So lets try a new phrase, a new start with this…

When you feel you’ve lost your rhythm, place your hand across your heart.   Or do what I do….

Cuddle your Saint.

It’s rare when it happens, but I currently have two sleeping babies. TWO. I’d like to be outside in my backyard with a great book, or sipping wine, or sleeping to be honest. I’d like to take a run, or prepare dinner in that long way you can do when you don’t have to make dinner while playing play dough. I’d love to call a friend and laugh about the good times, watch a movie on demand, or sleep…wait did I say that one twice?

But there’s no time for any of that.

Cause Saint just woke up.

We’ll try again tomorrow. Sigh.

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Is it already Thursday? Is it already the middle of August? Ugh. I knew this would happen once Saint got here!

Time is slipping through the cracks, speeding up, stealing my babies babyhood. Don’t believe me?

Case in point.

She looks at lest 5 years old in that photo, from our trip to the zoo yesterday. And let’s not forget my other not- so- newborn

It’s like they enjoy growing up!

Well, at least one of them enjoys it. My sainted boy, he’ll stick with me a little bit longer.

This weekends goal…to keep Jude alive. Happy Friday everyone.

Someone asked me about Sunshine the other day, they wanted to know how she’s doing with all of the changes.

You know that saying, Love is not an emotion, it’s an ability. If that is true then my daughter is so very able. To Sunny her brother is this tiny human who needs to see, touch, and view every single fascinating discovery she has ever made in her 2.5 years. “Look at this with your eyes. It’s playdough! You want some?” “Watch me do jumping class…ta da!!!!!!!” “Do you want your binky? Okay, I get it for you! I’m your big sister!”

She treats sisterhood like it’s her job; she’s always on time and does her best to impress her bosses. Matt bathes the kids together after dinner and then Saint lays with Matt and Sunshine every night for a story before bed. She thinks it’s just great that her brother will lay in her bed, and encourages me to leave her alone with him every morning. She assures me that she will “pick him up and rock him” if there are any problems…which is why I rarely leave them in the same room alone.

She gives him plenty of kisses and hugs and squeezes. We use the word careful and gentle interchangeably; she is many wonderful things but subtle and light on her feet is not one of them. At church over the weekend the priest said the words “I lead with Grace” – I do too. I always lead with my Gracie Girl.

This was our first weekend alone. We’ve had both sets of Grandparents ( Grand Parents) here visiting Saint. It was glorious to have our little family in our new house all to ourselves…but we miss the help, company, and love our family brought with them.

My friend Susan gave Saint the Boppy pillow, pictured below, to help him work on tummy time and so far he likes to use it as a napping pillow.

 That might be the downfall to having such a calm baby- he tends to fall asleep anywhere,  and “goals” like neck muscles aren’t so important to him. He’s so not his sister, Miss Achievement. Here she is in her “princess” dress, ruling her  backyard castle.

I’m not sure about this next photo. A sane person would only post good pictures of themselves- I think we can agree I’m not so sane these days.

My bi-weekly updates are fading away from me as I attempt to establish a new normal here in babyland.

You’ll forgive my absence as of  right now my schedule revolves around two little people- who I created, my husband-  who I choose, and work- that I must complete. Even my Mother has taken a  backseat from our hour long morning conversations, giving me the condensed version of  her daily gossip rundown.

For now I am in limbo, somewhere between happiness and exhaustion.

Visitors have come and gone, thank you cards are sitting on my desk, and sleep is hovering over me like thick fog  I can neither grasp at or catch.

He’s the easiest and (somehow) most demanding man I’ve ever  been in love with.

Days like today, I remember being nine and being aksed what you want to be when you grow up and knowing I’m supposed to say “A Teacher” but hoping to actually be “A Mom”- only that’s not what the cool kids say and now and days girls aren’t allowed to answer “A Mom” because no one considers that a career.  And then I got older and my date across the table asks me the same question and I say “I’m a tv producer” but I’m thinking” I’d like to be married with children…a Mom”- but I never did say that because he’d run out of the resturant faster than I can get the words out. You know? You’ve been there?

Well, today  it feels good to be honest; it feels great to be here. A Mom, of two. There I said it…and he didn’t even flinch.