Did you watch? I woke up at 2:30am- jumped out of bed and then realized it was 2:30 in the morning. Damn.

Then I woke up at 3:50am and that is when my day began. William, Kate, The Queen, Pipa, the crowds, the reporters, the cars, the horses, the bands, the royal wedding made my heart beat faster! She was beautiful, impressive, stunning, in a word perfect. I am completely obsessed, and am ashamed to admit that as I sit here wording, I am still watching the coverage!

Here’s a picture of Gracie getting ready for the big day…she seriously cried when I ripped those heels from her hands.

I loved every second of it, all of it! Lady Gracen didn’t wake up to watch the festivities and I didn’t wake her- although I considered it. Instead she woke up at 6am just in time to see the ceremony and later “The Kiss”…well the 2 kisses!!! I dressed her up in her Easter (alternative dress), we had tea, and then she headed outside for our photo shoot.

(It was very early forgive the blurry photos!!! In my mind they were crystal clear!!!)

Here’s the thing, I really feel like if I dress her all up and force her to do girlie things she’ll start to reform into a little lady- as opposed to a little troublemaker   There is a good chance that Sunny will never be the Queen of England, and I’m okay with that. She’s the Queen of our hearts and we think she is royal!

Special thanks to all of my adorable and kindhearted friends who woke up at 5am and earlier to join me in watching the royal wedding. There were texts and phone calls and emails and photos. Babies were up, Mama’s were awe-struck, it was a magical morning.

Just in case ya’ll are concerned for Sunny I took her out of the dress and let her continue to play in her play clothes for the remainder of the morning.

It’s tomorrow at 4am- are you going to be there? Sunny has been practicing for the big wake up call all week. This morning she was off by :30min when she woke up at 4:30am hopping up and down in her crib, yelling MAMA  MAMA.

Side Note: We’ve been working on the words princess, Kate, and William but so far no luck!

I’m raising my own little princess in Brooklyn…Lady Gracen of Sunset Park.

Do you see Lady Gracen’s piggy tails?

Can you imagine being Kate Middleton right now? Is there anyone on this Earth who would seriously want to be Queen of England? Can you imagine never again leaving your house and walking for coffee without bodyguards and 1 million photos being taken of you? As excited as I am for them- I’m glad it’s not me. If Sunny grew up and met a prince the second the royal family met our family ( specifically my mother) they would banish us from the palace- swiftly kicking us out on our royal behinds.

We have our very own royal wedding just 2 weeks away, and trust me when I tell you the royal family don’t have anything on Chris and JC. I’ll see if I can sneak ya’ll a picture of my bridesmaids dress and Lady Gracen’s flower girl gown…

We colored eggs, had an Easter egg hunt, and enjoyed yummy ham for dinner. Hope yours was fabulous as well.

Happy Easter.

I had to run a million errands yesterday, one of which brought me into the city alone.

It’s not often that I ride the subway alone.  When Sunny and I go into the city it’s usually by car  or we’re on the subway together where I sing Itsy Bitsy Spider 12 million times and entertain her in any way that I can. But yesterday, while alone on the train, I my headphones on and listened to my music and watched people get on and off the train. I bought an iced tea, visited my brother-in-law at work in midtown, and walked across town with some very trendy people to try on my very beautiful bridesmaid dress, and then got back on the subway to return to my very normal life.

Only it struck me yesterday that my life, our life, is anything but normal.

I saw millions of people in about 2 hours time. I watched 4 eight year olds dance on the moving train for money ( I gave in- supporting their art), I watched Mama’s with babies strapped to them clearly returning form work, having picked up their little ones on the way home, I watched young lovers kiss, and bands singing on platforms, and one homeless man who had made a really creative hat and sweater ensemble from torn dirty newspapers- I wish I had a picture of that one. I walked yOUR city and the energy hits you slaps you in the face. Busy people, artistic people, all types and kinds of people. Where are all of these people going? I’m sure from space NYC must look like a giant ant farm- everyone cooperating together to create this energy that is so encompassing that no matter how much I bitch and complain ( and I do, I do so much) I could never leave yOUR city. Ever.

How grateful I am that my Sunny will breathe this air that millions of people breathe. We walk outside of our door and the world is there to meet us. She was born here, in this insanity, literally on 57th street and 9th ave. at Columbus Circle. New York is more than yOUR city it’s your heart. It gets in your blood, we are addicted to its craziness…we are addicted. It is love and hate relationship-abusive in most ways;  it is impossible to walk away from its magnetic pull.

Took this one when I was preggy with Sunny

I used to walk these streets and notice nothing. I wore heels and carried an LV bag and  straightened my hair every morning. Now, it’s different, I’m different- and yet yOUR city is still the perfect fit for me. Now I walk in slippers with what I can only describe as a Mom coat and diaper bag.  The other day Matt and I brought Sunny in and we visited the Central Park Zoo where she mooed at cows and fed goats, and giggled at penguins. We ate at soup dumplings at Joe’s Shanghai and went shopping at Macy’s, I’d like to ask how many toddlers can say they did that on a random Wednesday? We live here, we stay here, and I know my friends worry…but we don’t just live her we LIVE in yOUR city and we love our city  and we are happy here, we are a part of the tapestry. we contribute to the energy  and we are so grateful.

Still, there are times I long for home. Familiar air, good friends, a less complicated existence of sorts. Next week I’ll be returning to the second city, my first city, the city that inhabits my friends and their lovers, families, and babies. There is something beautiful about the great mid-west that stays in your heart even in the midst of taller, bigger, heavier buildings. I think it’s the people; the beat is different but the awe is the same.

This weekend Chris and JC helped fancy up my backyard ( before and after pics to come).

Thank God for my boys, for spring gardening weather, for a little lady who loves shovels and watermelon slices, and my hubby who puts up with all of us.

Sunday morning went a little bit like this.

Me: You got her?

Matt: Who?

Me: G

Matt: What do you mean?

Me: I’m picking the boys up, going to Lowes, and re-doing the backyard, okay? And you need to watch G.

Matt: Okay…I have a soccer game at 11am…will you be back?

Me: Ummmmm….I’ll try….I mean…okay.

We’re still married- I got home in time for Matt to get to his game.

We grilled out, ate ribs ( Matt makes delicious grilled food with our smoker) and Sunny ate her first hot dog. Actually that’s the first piece of meat she has ever eaten- very exciting.

It’s been 4 days and my garden is still alive- in fact its budding and growing and gorgeous! I’ll share pics soon.

This afternoon is my dress fitting with the boys…God willing I will leave A+O with my self esteem and self respect still in tact!

Here we are, 30 more days have passed and my little one is 30 days older and suddenly 30 days bigger and 30 days smarter.

This past month has brought us lots more words and phrases, 2 new teeth, and a whole lot more attitude. But there’s something else too, Sunny is more affectionate suddenly. She gives kisses and hugs more readily ( and by that I mean without me having to beg or bribe her with graham crackers!) Her favorite phrases are: NO WAY!!! I BE ALRIGHT, HI GUYS, HEY LADY, I GO PEE PEE, COME ON, LET’S GO, MAMA!BABY!BABY!

When you ask her if she’s hungry she smacks her lips and goes umm! ( as in umm,umm good!) She will now hold my hand and walk like a big girl down the stairs and she sits at her new table and chairs  and uses her crayons to color ( she will usually bite the tip off of all crayons before coloring though). She likes to sit in her chair and read her books to herself, and often puts herself to bed commanding me to get her Ba-Ba and Let’s Go Ny- Ny (night night). Can you tell she’s teething? She couldn’t stop biting Donkey- some kids have pacifiers mine has Donkey.

My baby is looking more like a big girl these days and it’s true what they say…it just keeps getting better.

I’ll get to the 16 month pics- next week. But I couldn’t let this entire week go by without a few updates.

First, my dear sweet Aunt Vicky was in town, visiting from Alabama. This was the first time she got to meet Matt and Sunny in person and the first time Matt and Sunny got the good fortune of meeting her. I wish you all would get to meet my Aunt Vicky- she is warm and beautiful, full of positive energy and light. She’s one of those people that you honestly would like to keep in your pocket so that when you get confused or scarred she would be there to make everything okay. Matt is convinced that she can just move to New York and live with us- and while that would be the most awesome news EVER I’m fairly certain that her own daughter and son would come after us and fight for her back…this is the problem with highly lovable people- everyone wants to be were they are! In any case, she gifted Sunny some new books and she literally has been taking them everywhere she goes including to her bed. If  I read Snowy Day one more time I’m going to start changing the words around just for my own entertainment.

Sunny also was gifted a STUNNING custom made pale pink and white table and chairs. I would tell you where to get this set- however you’ll note I used the word custom in my discription. My dear sweet Tony ( Mother Dear’s Father) owns “shop” that creates custom hand crafted furniture created this set for Sunny.  His clients are people like Mary Tyler Moore and other extremely rich and famous people- so we’re in good company. Anyway for Sunny’s first birthday he created this set for her and hand wove the seats together!!! Who does that?

I tell you I have done a few things right in this life and meeting Mother Dear and her family has to be top 5. They are so good to me, this much as true, but they love love love my baby and treat her like one of their own grandchildren. In turn Sunny goes to their house twice a month and pours cheerios on the floor, destroys some toys, and eats them out of house and home. Mother Dear’s  own little girl is 3 years old and no longer needs her high chair- but the high chair is still sitting in the dining room- in case Sunny comes by.

There aren’t words for love that extends beyond you and into your child. We all make investments into each other, as a friend and family member its sort of a given, but then you grow up and you have a family of your own, and they choose to love your family too; it’s extraordinary. How beautiful this life is, we give and receive and when we create a new life we expand our hearts and the love grows…it grows.

There is a movie entitled “Motherhood” have you seen it? It’s almost forgettable and surely not watchable if you don’t care about life in NYC with kids, but there is something that happens at the very beginning of the film that I find magical. The main character takes a Polaroid of her daughter the day before she turns 6 and writes on the bottom of the pic “Last day of being 5!”

I thought it was kind of sad actually. It symbolises the end of something, the passing of time, the loss of babyhood. Sad, but final.

I think I kind of liked the idea- and so here we are. But so much of Sunshine growing up is not as much about her as it is me. My feelings of having to let go, my accepting that time moves forward even when I want it to slow down and give me a chance to catch up. We all feel that way about something, or perhaps someone- just one more day, hour minute…just please freeze! Stop!

I’m not good with goodbyes, never have been, but with time you can’t soften the blow by saying “See you later.” We aren’t going back, she will never be 15 months old again, it’s over and gone. It’s time to move forward.  After all I had 30 days to prepare for this right? So why does 16 months sound so much bigger, older, less babyish than 15 months?

Today I took a picture, I took a few: Last day at 15 months. I included me in them, because like it or not my child’s existence is about me too. I’m growing up too. I’m getting older too. I survived 15 months just like she did.

But this is a celebration too. It’s good to get older, it means we are still here, still breathing, still growing- ironically it is the STILL, the BEING STILL that I am most interested in.

So today is Sunny’s last day at 15 months. I’m not really ready to turn the page and let go, as silly as that sounds. Here we are, regardless, ready to face time again.

Last weekend we headed upstate for a celebration honoring Chris and JC. I still smile thinking of the kindness and support,  generosity and love shown by JC’s family.

The funniest/fun-est people you ever want to meet. I can’t wait to party with them in Mexico.

Do you see me above looking like I might steal every single one of their gifts? I asked them 10 times if I could take their china, engraved flutes, chalkboard cow- the answer was always no. I’m thinking about borrowing some items and never returning them. Call me crazy but I love the smell of new kitchen items!

This cake was so darn yummy! I wish JC’s Grandma was making the actual wedding cake…hell I wish she were making my birthday cake!

A family shot!

It’s a beautiful thing to see your family expand and grow. Meeting people you’ve never met, sharing laughs and drinks and good times. While we were there a friend of the family compared JC’s parents to JACK & DIANE- you know the song? Oh yeah- life goes on…I thought it was such a beautiful reference for a beautiful couple. I wish my life was a song, well not any song, a good dong like theirs.

In other news I’m completely obsessed with the pending marriage of William & Kate!!!!!!!!!!!! This morning Sunny and I watched some coverage ( their last public appearance before the wedding) and I was jumping up and down and explaining to my Sunshine how they’re the Prince & Princess of ENGLAND! She was excited…sort of. She doesn’t really get it but she will when I wake her up at 3am to watch the wedding live on tv.  Yep- that’s gonna happen!  Weddings, weddings, weddings!!! I just love LOVE.

When Sunny was a infant she slept in the bed with Matt and I.

Some of you are horrified by that last sentence…don’t worry there is nothing you are thinking that hasn’t been said to us.

“Aren’t you afraid you’re going to roll over on her?” “Is that safe?” “You’ll never get her out!” The answer to those questions are, No, No, and we got her out when it was time and she was ready.

Now to each his or her own, I certainly don’t think co-sleeping is for everyone, but I miss it. I miss that time, and I’ll be happy to co-sleep with my next infant when that time comes.

Sunny has been a bit under the weather due to a new molar breaking through so for her that means lots of extra Mama and Daddy time and for us at 2:30 in the morning – that means bring the kid in here and let her work it out time.

These next pics are a bit personal, I thought twice before posting them because some of you are my clients and this blog often delves into the personal but to me, these pics are also really beautiful and a symbol of how quickly a moment can pass and the reason you hire me to capture them right?  After all she won’t always want to climb in our bed   and she won’t always be small enough to fit between my thighs and rest her head on my chest.